mourning
I was having a pretty good day today, in a music-cubanfood-sunshine-love, atmospheric kind of way.
Then I was hanging out with friends, and Tom called me and told me that Jim Helmick died. I’m completely in shock about it. When Mr. Gartell died I was sad, but not overly emotional, because I expected it. It’s a shame that Mr. Helmick’s death will not stand alone, and instead be associated with Mr. Gartell’s, but it’s the combination that makes me most sad.
I don’t have enough good things to say about Mr. Helmick to satisfy and explain the experience of being his student. It’s hard losing a friend, but it’s comforting to know that he would probably have no regrets about his life. That’s the way he lived. I should start living that way.
I tried to put on my happy face for the rest of the day, but inside I’m torn up. Went home, laid in bed staring at the ceiling for a few hours, went to a comedy show with friends (Margaret Cho). I didn’t think it was funny. I don’t know if that’s because it wasn’t, or because of me.
I guess everybody learns about death at a different point in life, and I’m fortunate to have waited this long. Right now I should be at a birthday party, but doing anything besides sitting and thinking just seems foolish and inappropriate. #
August 25th, 2003 at 12:13 am
#1 - it’s not just you. Margaret Cho may be the un-funniest person on the planet.
#2 - yeah I’m in the same boat. I brushed death of others aside when I was younger and just recently had to face its harsh realities. About a month ago, I actually thought about my own mortality for the first time since I was a child. (I was horribly scared of death when I was five years old and actually developed insomnia because of it.)
I was five years old and i had insomnia out of the fear of death. Man and we wonder why I’m so screwed up now.
August 26th, 2003 at 3:08 pm
It’s always hard to write about death. It’s not something we like to talk about. The problem is that we can’t do anything about it- we have no control. And that is weird- we’re so used to working hard, or knowing that we can do something- to change a situation we don’t like.
But there’s nothing to do here. And it’s hard to talk about it. Leaves us feeling angry, frustrated, sad, powerless, un-resolved.
Mr. Helmick taught you lots of things- new ways of perceiving, analyzing, thinking. I am grateful that you had such a gifted and caring teacher in your life. I am sad that he died-especially so unexpectedly, and I am sorry that you have to deal with mortality in a way you haven’t had to face before.
You just have to get through one day at a time right now. It never goes away- this death thing- but you learn that your life goes on despite it- and that death is, indeed, a part of life.
(Yeah- I know- I’ve been reading way too many books about the Aztecs!)
We’re all with you on this one!
August 27th, 2003 at 3:24 pm
Hi,
I just happened upon your website, looking for information for services for Mr. Helmick on google. Glenda (his wife) has been a dear friend and trusted teaching mentor to me for the past 8 years that we’ve been e-pals. I had the privilege to meet Glenda and Jim both in Austin a few years ago, and in that one meeting, he dramatically made an impression on me. I think he’s an amazing man, and I feel blessed that I had the opportunity to meet him.
August 27th, 2003 at 4:02 pm
I think I remember from the morning announcements today that they are having a service for him this Saturday in the Brantley auditorioum during hte afternoon.
August 27th, 2003 at 4:02 pm
I think I remember from the morning announcements today that they are having a service for him this Saturday in the Brantley auditorioum during hte afternoon.
August 28th, 2003 at 6:13 pm
Memorial Service is on saturday at 2pm at Sweetwater baptist church
August 29th, 2003 at 12:00 am
The O-Sen has some nice things to say.
September 8th, 2003 at 9:39 am
I was also fortunate enough to have Mr. Helmick. Jim was possibly one of the best teachers and most honest and loving men I have ever had the chance to meet. I have moved around a bit since graduating from LBHS, but I have kept in touch with both he and his wife Glenda. We would send Christmas cards, etc. and everytime I talked to them, he would always tell me how much he enjoyed having me in his class. He cared enough to remember each and every person who walked through his classroom door. I was shocked by the news, and I am still having a hard time seeing through the tears. Some people touch your life in a way that you can’t really put into words; he was one of those people!