depression
For about a year now, well, more like 1.5 years, I’ve been continually depressed at some level. A lot of times I’m happy, but there’s usually some cynicism underneath. Right now I feel really sad. I don’t know why. Even if something really makes me laugh, it’s like there’s a weight on my shoulders.
Lots of things make me sad. Too much work, KSCR, our country, girls. Not having someone to talk to about anything. Our country really depresses me. Why do we have to kill people?
Totally stupid things depress me. Like tonight I was walking back from my car to KSCR after the meeting to get my stuff and shutdown terminal services, and everybody was suddenly gone without saying goodbye, and then this lady stopped me because I was walking past the orientation party and I didn’t have a nametag. So I felt like my friends deserted me and I couldn’t even walk to KSCR without being accosted, and that made me really sad, even though none of that is such a big deal. I think I was already tired from working all day, and that set me off. Then Clarity came on when I turned on my car, and I started crying in the car, I don’t know why.
Gonna keep working now, because I have a deadline tomorrow morning… #