kampers.net

writing - technical description
writing - rfp
writing - portfolio
ee - lab
cs - pset
muco - comp. exercises
muco - quizzes
mpwp - finish restless
bisc - take home final
finish registration
apartment
finals

relax #

I’m sitting in SAL on a saturday night migrating a server. Such a geek.

This site looks dumb. I’m going to redesign it again this summer. #

Thornton Jazz Orchestra at Bovard tonight. Lovely. The orchestra was good too.

Then marimba into the night. No mistakes on A in Restless, beautiful.

Three more weeks.

Always. #

Human consciousness is a machine reflecting on itself.

This machine got up at 5 this morning to do a radio show.

What I am feeling now, incidentally, is longing. #

A week here since I posted. I feel kinda depressed right now. I think I always seem kinda depressed on this site, but I’m really not that way all the time.

It’s been a really long week. I had some exams, a term paper, and some other stuff. Life is hardcore. Also, last night, kscrradio.com’s server had what most IT-types would term a catastrophic failure. As far as I know, either the mobo killed the proc or the proc killed the mobo, and this caused drive corruption across the mirrored RAID array.

They put in a new server with new drives and software, and they’re migrating everything over there. Unfortunately, it has a different network card (with a different MAC address), so the internal DNS is taking some time to resolve to the new box. Or so they tell me. Serves me right for hosting a site in Texas.

I have a music advisement appointment tomorrow, so that’s good. I’m supposed to take this required music history course next semester, but it doesn’t exist. Ideally I would take that, and one unit of individual instruction, and then not take one of my engineering classes that I have scheduled. Otherwise, to take individual instruction (which I must), I’m in 19-unit territory. I don’t care about taking 19, except that I have to pay extra tuition. Erm, honors colloquium makes that 20, but they’re nice enough to pay for the extra unit.

I’m going to have my own room in a great apartment close to campus next semester. It’s about time my housing luck turned around.

Speaking of breadth with depth, neuroscience is going well. Somehow, despite missing three weeks of lecture and scoring a ding 66 on my last midterm (it covered all the stuff that I missed… not too bad considering I taught myself everything on the test), I have a B in the course. A conversation that I had with my professor today really got me interested in the graduate program here at USC. I didn’t know this, but the neural computation program at USC is essentially the best in the nation. Of the three major contract grants given by the NSF to computational programs in the history of neuroscience awards, USC has won all three. We beat MIT, Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, CMU, Caltech, and the list goes on… they all decided to collaborate with us for the first project (except for Stanford), but the last two projects have been solo at USC.

We also have undergraduates working in the neural prosthesis lab here, which is unique in the nation. I wonder if I could join the ranks?

Which reminds me, I’m really excited about the Matrix sequels. If you haven’t already, make sure to check out all the available episodes of the Animatrix. They’re really cool, particularly The Second Renaissance.

OK.

I don’t mean to change the subject, but there’s this girl in my life who makes me really happy. I want to spend a lot more time with her. #

Have you ever washed your hair with numb fingertips? I did it this morning. I need to see a doctor.

I’m really behind on a lot of work right now. Even work that I didn’t miss from being sick. Papers to write, labs, etc. I’m just behind. I hardly have time to work my part-time job. KSCR is consuming my life, and it’s not even fun.

I have a much shorter fuse when I’m tired. I’ve been up taking exams and quizzes since 8 this morning, and now it’s past midnight, and I’m really angry. Everything makes me sad.

It’s unfortunate that I can’t really write about what I want to write about here. I guess that’s the nature of these things.

The other day I made an “I wish” list on paper. It was meant to be more of a goals thing. I cannot not reproduce it here. But that’s how I feel right now. Alone, in a corner, chained to the floor, wishing, not doing, useless, helpless, wandering. I want to punch something and then collapse in tears. #