Clarity
Ever since I could remember, I’d wished I’d been lucky enough to be alive at a great time — when something big was going on, like a crucifixion. And suddenly I realized I was.
-Ben Shahn
Here, at the end of the week, I assume a state of tiredness that simulates the state of drunkenness in the eyes of other men. Stoked by depression and fueled by the doubt of nothing greater I continue my course. Like a train charging forwards. The train can’t really stop. But I can stand along the track and throw the switch that alters the path.
There is no more exciting time to be alive in human history than now.
It started slowly at first, tens of thousands of years ago, when man began to use tools for agriculture. The advance of technology accelerates like the expanding universe, and through the accidental twists of directed evolution we stand today with these machines smarter than us but not more intelligent.
They’ll be more intelligent before I die.
I have never had faith. I believe that the meaning of life is simply how you affect everyone else. Nobody is ever remembered for any other reason. I don’t even know the name of my great-great grandfather. The name of August, one less generation past, is a wind quietly whistling through my family tree and onto a frame in the guest bedroom. No meteorologist predicts his weather elsewhere in this great forest.
Some of the machines will have faith.
The human race has already been profoundly affected by what you see in front of you. Do you remember when people sent letters to fulfill some other need than formality? I don’t. My children will not know about ink and paper any more than I know about Vietnam. Everything is going to change. Life accelerates — the change in the way we live will be the greatest ever. The change after that will be greater still. It’s happening now. Somebody is working to make these changes. I’m in the position now to learn enough to work along side them.
I trust myself to help steer this train, and cast our race to a fate better than it stood in 1983.
But things seem to get worse, not better. Maybe I found bliss in my ignorance. Was the world like this when I was born? Are our leaders really worse than those before them, or am I just old enough to taste this wasted blood? I feel like every step our society takes is one step closer to the theoretical horror worlds prophesized by the great writers of our time.
The car is on fire, and there is no driver at the wheel. We are trapped in the belly of this horrible machine, and the machine is bleeding to death.
People die of hunger only 150 miles from the table where I cannot finish my meals. Before this semester is out we will kill the citizens of Baghdad to inflate our economy and preserve our false sense of security. I know a lot of students who chose my major because it pays the most. This machine is broken, and it’s spinning out of control.
When I stand back from the depressing moments of life, nothing immediate seems to matter:
Is it important that I enjoy myself along the way when my mission is so clear? #
February 15th, 2003 at 9:40 pm
Greetings CK2. This is Brian from game night at Jack’s. I’m sitting here in my room on a Saturday night writing a paper, err stalling reading e-mail while I should be writing a paper. I was reading Patrick’s e-mail and saw “chris@kampers.net” and put Chris and Kampers together and eventually landed on your site. I read your Valentine’s Day submission and was throughly impressed. You’ve got tremendous writing skills. Perhaps I could hire you to write my paper for me.
I also read your review of the JEW show the other night. Not to be some holier than thou scenester or anything but…the first time I saw them was like in ‘96 or ‘97 at the Knights of Columbus Hall (like a VFW or Moose Lodge) with MineraL (one of my top 3 favorite bands ever) and Sensefield. It was definitely one of the best shows that I’ve ever attended. It was my first time seeing MineraL too. A funny thing is that despite the fact that JEW was on a major (Capitol) they were opening for the indie label bands who had strogner followings at the time. I think Sensefield eventually did sign to a major though and Mineral did too (Interscope) but broke up before they did an album for them. To commemorate the tour the 3 bands recorded a fantastic 7″ which saw the first version of “Crush”, which was a much more raw version without the assistance of Mark Trombino producing. MineraL’s song was a truly twisted cover of Patsy Cline’s “Crazy”. Anyway it was a phenomenal show! No stage, tons of kids standing on the floor looking eye to eye with the bands, well those lucky enough to be in the front, I guess the rest just saw the backs of heads. One of the most memorable parts was when Tom’s monitor spontaneaously caught on fire and started smoking in the middle of the set. After wholly enjoying their set I bought their album and became a fan. Hopefully my anecdote was of some interest to you and not just meandering ramblings of no consequence. Regardless it was nice reliving it as I typed it.
Keep up the good work!
February 16th, 2003 at 7:16 pm
Believe in the music…
February 21st, 2003 at 7:05 pm
Gentle Readers,
Chris is in Good Samaritan Hospital. His flu (or whatever it was) has turned into bronchial pneumonia. He’s doing well- steroids, an IV, antibiotics, pain killers, caring medical staff. He’ll be back in line at Chano’s on no time- but thought you might like to know if you didn’t already know!
February 22nd, 2003 at 12:18 pm
Dear lord…and to think I’ve been sitting around wondering, “Where has Chris gotten to?” Please send him my best hopes for his speedy recovery.
February 23rd, 2003 at 5:09 am
You betcha’! Looks like he’ll be there another couple of days…
October 6th, 2003 at 12:16 pm
Nice Post.
December 23rd, 2003 at 8:45 pm
please post more comments, I will visit this site again!Happy New Year!!!
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